The Brunette Diaries

Signs that he is falling in love with you

Men aren’t always good at expressing emotions, but if you are alert enough you can pick up these cues from him that suggest he is falling in love with you.

You must be able to pick up cues because he won’t always say it

He sends you text messages for no reason

The more he sends you messages, the more he cares about you. It just goes on to show how love-drunk he is. He may vie for your attention when he sends you mundane messages. Do not ignore them. Take them as a cue that he is falling for you.

He calls you just to hear your voice

He just loves to call you. He cannot resist calling you even if he doesn’t have a reason. He wants to hear your voice. He may call you and maybe not even speak much, but listen to what you have to say!

He texts fewer people

You may figure that he is giving you his sole attention and you may wonder why and how come. Understand that he has sobered down his social interaction because he is beginning to become love struck.

You hear his buddies giving him a hard time of late

You may hear a hint when he talks about how his friends feel he’s been behaving differently. They’re actually making astute observations about subtle behavioural changes that you may not have picked up on.

He sometimes talks rubbish just so that you can ask him what’s wrong

This can be at the later stages of being love struck. He tends to talk rubbish with the expectation that you ask him if everything is alright. He may be seeking attention. No guy says that straight up. Guys are masters of emotion masking.

He will text you just to stay in touch all day

If you see such quirky behaviour in a guy, do not be repulsed and wonder what’s wrong. You are wrong! ‘You’ happened to him. He cannot resist the thought of you and is falling in love.

Steps To Get A Guy To Fall In Love With You

Are you looking to hook up with a guy who you’ve had your eye on for quite a long time? You may not feel confident to approach him… well, there’s your problem, in fact. If he ever notices that you lack confidence, it can be a real turn off to any guy. While most claim that there is something called love at first sight, we beg to differ. He can fall in love with the way you look, and have a crush on you, but love you? Love is something more meaningful and the term has been thrown around wrongly too often.

(Also read – Signs that he is falling in love with you)

So here we look at steps in which you can build up your confidence to walk up to the man of your dreams and make him fall head over heels for you.

Love yourself

Loving yourself is the first step towards being loved. If he sees that you love the way you look, he’ll perceive you to be confident. Everything we see and read on television and magazines gives us an unrealistic perception of what our bodies should look like. Instead, learn to love yourself just the way you are, and he will too.

(Also read – Mistakes that can ruin new love)

Love everything you do

Any boy will be much more likely to fall in love with you if you love what you do and feel more positive about the things in your life. If you make it known that you’re happy pursuing your interests, work, or career, then he’ll be more inclined to want to get to know you.

Melroy Day, a 21-year-old I.T. student feels that, “The biggest sickness society suffers from is ‘what will people say’. A girl who could get rid of this unreal expectation of society and love herself will be much more attractive to me.”

Get his attention

If you want a boy to love you, then you have to look like a fun person to be around. 19-year-old Maargi Mehta opines, “Whenever a guy sees you, you should have a big but genuine smile on your face, do something different, be fun to hang out with.”

Body language

You don’t want to be friend-zoned, do you? It’s important to get your body language right and not send him the wrong message from across the room. This can involve eye contact, standing upright and not showing any signs of nervousness.

Show something special

If you have a special talent, portray it. Highlight your strength and hide your weaknesses. He’ll love how you are different from others when you show him some skill that you may possess.

(Also read – Falling in love too fast?)

Be mysterious

Don’t give him a chance to get to know you completely. Make him want to come back for more. Don’t tell him every story you know, make him want to ask you things. Don’t show too much excitement and he will long to hear from you!

You have to be patient. Love doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s surely worth the wait, because it is beautiful.

Dos and don’ts of office romance

People often fall in love with someone with whom they spend hours on end, and share the same passion as them. Office is one such place where spending long hours bring two people close to each other. If you already like a person at your workplace, it is important for you to know certain dos and don’ts. Nobody wants to end up with a broken heart or join the list of unemployed people because of their carelessness.

Don’t pounce on married people

You might be attracted to a colleague who is married and you may even find him/her best suited for you. But leave this man/woman alone. It is important to hold on to the principle of not breaking a marriage for selfish reasons. Fancying someone and trying to own someone are two different things. You can fancy anyone and everyone in your imaginations, but you cannot have them in real life. So, better keep the idea of dating a married colleague at bay.

Cautious flirting

Flirt cautiously. Others could be watching you!

It is important to make sure you keep your desires behind closed doors. Brushing past the person or giving away broad smiles even for a lame joke lets the cat out of the bag. Remember that you are not the only one at work. Your colleagues can easily notice your unexpected enthusiasm for only one person. You should never create such unwanted speculative atmosphere; it brings you close to being the topic of office gossip, not love.

Look forward to responses

There is no point if the flirting continues only from your side. Unless you get a response you will not be able to confirm the feeling to be mutual. Try becoming friends with that person. Many people put on their friendly mask at office, so it is likely that the person might not even notice your existence at work. Therefore, laying the foundation by making yourself visible is essential.

Beware of your company law

Each company has its own policies, which is why it is crucial for you to know your company rules and regulations. The last thing you want is to lose your love and job at the same time. Allegations of misconduct can be made. Therefore, read the contract thoroughly before you end up in trouble.

Don’t indulge in lustful sessions at office

Keep your sexual encounters away from the office

There could be some rooms in your office that are vacant more often than not. This does not give you the liberty of using that room for your sexual escapedes. What if someone enters the room during one of your sexual encounters? You wouldn’t want a random colleague, or anyone for that matter, to see you offering your bosoms to your lover-colleague, right? Also, avoid stealing a kiss or using the parking lot for momentary pleasure. These are all risky, especially in a professional environment. So, keep your passion in control when you are in office.

What if someone sees you stealing a kiss?

Are you the only one?

What is the guarantee that the person is not flirting with other colleagues as well? It is very easy for them to take advantage of their sex appeal and try flirting with multiple co-workers. Therefore, ensure that you are risking for the right person. No one wants to end up embarrassed for being fooled with false emotions. Confirm each other’s love to be mutual with no other interference.

Contemplating an arranged marriage?

You have waited for Mr. Right for too long and now your parents are pressurising you to look at some eligible bachelors they have in store for you. An arranged marriage is on the horizon and you can’t decide whether that indeed is the right option for you. So here’s an article that may help you decide whether an arranged marriage is the right way to go.

Full family support

An arranged marriage has family support. Mostly, families have prior meetings and then decide compatibility before bringing the two together. Thus, the family gives all the support since they have permitted everything beforehand.

Understand that it is a risk

Everything can be hunky dory at first; but remember, once personalities surface you may risk the possibility of lack of compatibility. It is a risk you should be willing to take. Hypocrisy is common when it comes to arranged marriage since nobody wants to face rejection.

Financial security is greater

Since families are involved there isn’t a risk of not being able to pay for your marriage and stand on your own feet after it. First of all, your family will make sure he is earning enough to take care of you even before they decide he is right for you to meet.

You have to live with your decision

You cannot blame someone else for the decision you have made. For instance, if the proposal has been brought by your parents, it is not imperative that you answer with a yes. It is your choice. Do not live to blame someone else for the choices which you make. Therefore, take your time and do what your heart tells you.

It is an inescapable fact that an arranged marriage has a higher element of risk than a love marriage. If you trust your instinct then an arranged marriage is alright, but do not live to regret a decision you have made.

Is living-in before marriage a cool idea?

In Indian society, especially among the traditionalists, living-in may be considered as taboo, but many individuals from free spirited societies find it a convenient way of getting acquainted with their partners in a profound sense. But what do youngsters feel about this? Has the shift of western culture into the Indian subcontinent changed the way people perceive marriage? We met five youngsters and asked them if they would live-in with their partners before marriage. We requested them to keep the Indian culture aside while answering this and talk only based upon their personal morals. Let us take a look at a few snippets of what these youngsters had to say about this.

(Also read – Bollywood actresses who got pregnant before marriage)

Safana Abdul is a storyboard artist who is currently single and feels that the only factor that could influence whether or not she should live-in with her partner will be the potency of their commitment. “If I know that the commitment with my partner is strong enough for marriage, I wouldn’t mind living-in with him. But only if he gives me an assurance that he will marry me in the future. My family wouldn’t be alright with it, as generalised, but I would do what is fair and what I feel is right in the end.”

(Also read – Contemplating an arranged marriage?)

22-year-old student counsellor Divya Sajnani is currently single, but is open to the idea of living-in as well. “I think it’s a great idea. First of all, you get the sense of independence, away from family. Only if you stay with a person for a longer time will you get to know whether or not you are compatible with him, whether you will get bored of each other, whether common sense and logic will prevail in your decisions as a couple. There will be like a ‘preview’ to all these problems before you actually take the plunge into marriage, which is a big decision!”

(Also read – Steps to get a guy to fall in love with you)

30-year-old Jayavardhan Verma has been dating for about a year now and says that he is happy to have a girl who is open minded like him. “I think it is a great idea to live-in with my girl. She is quite open-minded and she would consider it if I would make such a decision. We aren’t too keen on getting married in the near future, so it is an option.”

Daisy Leivon too, was of the opinion that living-in is a great opportunity to explore interests and motives of your partner. “I totally believe that living-in with your partner is completely different from dating. You don’t know someone until you live with him. All the tolerance levels, interests, motives and everything else that comes with living together are put to the test, rather than just the promises that a couple make at the marriage altar.”

(Also read – Mistakes that can ruin new love)

So we’ve had four liberalist points of view which say a lot about how things have changed here in India. The fifth interviewee, however, was one who was quite firm about his beliefs and morals and says that he will not compromise in this area. Aakash Parekh was strongly opposing the idea of a live-in relationship. “The institution of marriage is sacred. Its purpose cannot be defeated by impatience. Marriage is something you have to wait for and treasure, not something you practise for with a partner and then give it a try! Marriage is special. I would never want to lose the essence of marriage by living-in with someone. My wife is going to be the only one with whom I will live… not my girlfriend. I’m sorry; my girlfriend doesn’t have my consent to live with me. If she loves me, she will have to wait to marry me! If she doesn’t have the patience to wait, then she probably never was the right girl for me.”

With most people living a life of compromise, based on what they feel is right and not what ethics have taught them, it is hard to draw a line of morality. But in the end, who am I to draw a line? Or who is anyone who spoke here? Everyone has freewill, but I would only put in a proposal for everyone to weigh out the pros and cons of anything before they jump into it.