You have waited for Mr. Right for too long and now your parents are pressurising you to look at some eligible bachelors they have in store for you. An arranged marriage is on the horizon and you can’t decide whether that indeed is the right option for you. So here’s an article that may help you decide whether an arranged marriage is the right way to go.
Full family support
An arranged marriage has family support. Mostly, families have prior meetings and then decide compatibility before bringing the two together. Thus, the family gives all the support since they have permitted everything beforehand.
Understand that it is a risk
Everything can be hunky dory at first; but remember, once personalities surface you may risk the possibility of lack of compatibility. It is a risk you should be willing to take. Hypocrisy is common when it comes to arranged marriage since nobody wants to face rejection.
Financial security is greater
Since families are involved there isn’t a risk of not being able to pay for your marriage and stand on your own feet after it. First of all, your family will make sure he is earning enough to take care of you even before they decide he is right for you to meet.
You have to live with your decision
You cannot blame someone else for the decision you have made. For instance, if the proposal has been brought by your parents, it is not imperative that you answer with a yes. It is your choice. Do not live to blame someone else for the choices which you make. Therefore, take your time and do what your heart tells you.
It is an inescapable fact that an arranged marriage has a higher element of risk than a love marriage. If you trust your instinct then an arranged marriage is alright, but do not live to regret a decision you have made.
Comfort levels differ in the initial stages of love. Understanding may be present in the relationship, but being able to perceive problems and personalities early, may be harder than you expect. Usually, couples tend to ruin new love by getting into things too quick. Let us look at a few common mistakes that couples make in new love:
Let your feelings develop and do not force them
Asking for help too often
You can ask him for help once in a while, but if you do it too often, you may make him question your intentions. He may believe you are taking advantage of him. Do not behave like he is your husband already, this will scare him away.
Double dates
Double dating can be fun to show off your new boyfriend. But if you keep doing this, he may misunderstand you. He may believe that you want him around just as eye candy.
Overdressing
Do not be a diva every time you meet him. Men perceive this as fake. In a new relationship, it is important to be yourself and not fake so he is not scared away.
Cribbing
Usually, women have a habit of setting things straight right at the beginning of the relationship so that they are not taken for granted later. Men are repulsed by women who crib about things they do even without knowing them that well.
White lies
At the beginning of a relationship, it is important to build trust steadily. You cannot expect him to trust you from the word go. As you build this trust, even the small white lies that you tell can ruin this trust.
Physical involvement
Be slow when it comes to committing to certain things. Do not be hasty when it comes to being physically involved. Be patient, show that you love him and not his body.
Couples in love usually rush things
When it comes to new relationships, be sure to take things slowly. For you do not know what you rush in to.
In an industry ruled by the rich and famous, ‘flaunting it’ is not a big deal. They say it isn’t right to put a price tag on a gift, but these gifts are so exorbitant that we couldn’t help but whisper it out loud! Let us take a look at a few expensive, glamorous and flashy gifts showered upon Bollywood celebrities and their loved ones.
Sanjay Dutt
Sanjay gifted his wife Manyata a car which anyone one of us could only dream of – a Rolls-Royce worth Rs 3 crore! Talk about lavish! He also gave his director a 10 lakh rupees watch for doing a great scene in the movie ‘Zanjeer’. Wouldn’t you to stick around this guy?
Shah Rukh Khan
The Baadshah of Bollywood has always been known to be generous. In 2009, SRK gifted an Audi 6 worth Rs 60 lakh to his kids Aryan and Suhana. Generous is something, but this is whoa! Besides this, Shah Rukh has also given lavish cars to his directors and co-actors quite often.
Raj Kundra
Shilpa is one lucky girl! On Valentine’s Day in 2009, Shilpa was presented a 48 carat heart-shaped natural white diamond ring worth a fortune! Raj also gifted her an apartment on the 19th floor of The Burj Khalifa apartment in Dubai.
Vidhu Vinod Chopra
Vidhu Vinod Chopra was so excited to work with the legendary
Amitabh Bachchan in ‘Eklavya’ that he gifted him a Rolls-Royce worth Rs 3.5 crore.
Siddharth Roy Kapur
Hubby of Bollywood dame Vidya Balan, Siddharth Roy Kapur gifted his dearest wife a high end, luxury, sea facing apartment worth crores of rupees, in the plush Juhu area of Mumbai.
Salman Khan
How can we count out this bold hunk! Any Bollywood list and this man’s name is not going to be overlooked. When it comes to showering expensive gifts, Sallu knows how to do it! When Kareena didn’t take any payment for her item number ‘Fevicol Se’ (Dabangg 2), Salman returned the gesture with a swanky BMW. Sallu also gifted his sister, Alvira, a penthouse and a precious diamond bracelet worth a whopping Rs 1.25 crore.
In Indian society, especially among the traditionalists, living-in may be considered as taboo, but many individuals from free spirited societies find it a convenient way of getting acquainted with their partners in a profound sense. But what do youngsters feel about this? Has the shift of western culture into the Indian subcontinent changed the way people perceive marriage? We met five youngsters and asked them if they would live-in with their partners before marriage. We requested them to keep the Indian culture aside while answering this and talk only based upon their personal morals. Let us take a look at a few snippets of what these youngsters had to say about this.
Safana Abdul is a storyboard artist who is currently single and feels that the only factor that could influence whether or not she should live-in with her partner will be the potency of their commitment. “If I know that the commitment with my partner is strong enough for marriage, I wouldn’t mind living-in with him. But only if he gives me an assurance that he will marry me in the future. My family wouldn’t be alright with it, as generalised, but I would do what is fair and what I feel is right in the end.”
22-year-old student counsellor Divya Sajnani is currently single, but is open to the idea of living-in as well. “I think it’s a great idea. First of all, you get the sense of independence, away from family. Only if you stay with a person for a longer time will you get to know whether or not you are compatible with him, whether you will get bored of each other, whether common sense and logic will prevail in your decisions as a couple. There will be like a ‘preview’ to all these problems before you actually take the plunge into marriage, which is a big decision!”
30-year-old Jayavardhan Verma has been dating for about a year now and says that he is happy to have a girl who is open minded like him. “I think it is a great idea to live-in with my girl. She is quite open-minded and she would consider it if I would make such a decision. We aren’t too keen on getting married in the near future, so it is an option.”
Daisy Leivon too, was of the opinion that living-in is a great opportunity to explore interests and motives of your partner. “I totally believe that living-in with your partner is completely different from dating. You don’t know someone until you live with him. All the tolerance levels, interests, motives and everything else that comes with living together are put to the test, rather than just the promises that a couple make at the marriage altar.”
So we’ve had four liberalist points of view which say a lot about how things have changed here in India. The fifth interviewee, however, was one who was quite firm about his beliefs and morals and says that he will not compromise in this area. Aakash Parekh was strongly opposing the idea of a live-in relationship. “The institution of marriage is sacred. Its purpose cannot be defeated by impatience. Marriage is something you have to wait for and treasure, not something you practise for with a partner and then give it a try! Marriage is special. I would never want to lose the essence of marriage by living-in with someone. My wife is going to be the only one with whom I will live… not my girlfriend. I’m sorry; my girlfriend doesn’t have my consent to live with me. If she loves me, she will have to wait to marry me! If she doesn’t have the patience to wait, then she probably never was the right girl for me.”
With most people living a life of compromise, based on what they feel is right and not what ethics have taught them, it is hard to draw a line of morality. But in the end, who am I to draw a line? Or who is anyone who spoke here? Everyone has freewill, but I would only put in a proposal for everyone to weigh out the pros and cons of anything before they jump into it.
“A dog doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.”John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog
A little girl enters the pet store with her mother. After going through the different foreign breeds in the shop (who were kept on display like decorative items), her mother says, “You can buy a Lab, they tend to be more faithful than other breeds or you can go for a Doberman, they are good guard dogs.” The little girl did not utter a word and kept staring out of the window. Her attention was fixed on a little puppy that was playing across the street, and getting dirty jumping in a poodle. “So full of life,” she thought to herself, and told her mother that she wanted to take the little cuddlesome puppy home. Her mother turned scarlet with disappointment and said, “But he is a stray! Why would you want a street dog when we can afford to buy a foreign breed?”
Don’t most of us have the same mentality like the little girl’s mother? We want dogs like Labradors, Dobermans, Pugs, Pitbulls, Rottweilers, etc, and then we call ourselves ‘Dog lovers’, when evidently we are nothing more than just ‘Breed lovers’.
Stray dogs, just like other dogs, offer you the same pristine love and lifelong companionship. So if you’re among those who has always wanted to keep a pet, here’s why you should consider a homeless dog:
1. An antidote for depression
Do you see the breed, colour, size of the dog when you are playing with him? Of course not! All you can see is the spark in his eyes and his radiant “smile” that can brighten even your gloomiest days! A dog, irrespective of the breed, just needs a loving and a compassionate friend. They want you to cuddle them after you reach home and pamper them with some jerkies! You can simply talk to them, and they will never retaliate, lecture or taunt you. They are all ears when you talk to them. They also work as “social catalysts” and help you get out more, and interact with others thereby reducing isolation.
2. The Indian breed myth
People have formed preconceived notions about Indian breeds. They consider them unhygienic, dumb, rebellious and even stubborn. As a matter of fact, the behaviour of a dog depends on his training. If you buy a German Shepherd worth Rs. 12,000 and do not train him appropriately or beat him up very often as a punishment, he will end up becoming ferocious and will never obey you in his life.
Stray puppies could initially have ticks and problems like intestinal parasites due to their poor living conditions. But these are easily treatable; plus, even the pedigreed puppies can have these problems. So, instead of calling street pups “unhygienic”, you can make an effort to de-worm them and apply some anti-parasitic medicines to help them get rid of such predicaments. What’s more, street dogs have a better immunity against diseases and infections, thanks to adaptation since generations. While pedigreed dogs are a haven for ticks and fleas, it’s comparatively easier for street dogs to get rid of them.
3. Customers or Parents?
Many affluent families buy dogs for tens of thousands of rupees and then abandon them if they are attacked by serious medical issues like kidney failures or severe stomach infections. They behave just like customers, who throw away an old gadget the moment it stops functioning properly. But dogs aren’t lifeless objects and nothing hurts them more than separation. Instead of behaving like a customer who pays money to ‘buy’ a pet, you can behave like a parent and adopt an orphan, homeless dog.
4. The homeless need love too!
Adopt a local Indian breed once, and with time you’ll notice that they are as smart and friendly as any foreign breed. There are numerous puppies lying on the streets, who crave for food and loving homes. Most of them either die painfully due to diseases or hit-and-run accidents, while the others continue to live in agony. These puppies can be given a chance to live a healthy and safe life; all you need to do is change your attitude towards Indian breeds.
If you are thinking of bringing home a cute and loving dog, do consider Indian breeds once! By doing so, you’ll be saving a precious life.
Children always fancy owning pets at home. Many children pester their parents to gift kittens and puppies for their birthdays. If you are a pet lover and have approved the idea of owning one at home, here are a few tips and ideas to help you initiate an amicable relationship between your children and the four-footed newcomer.
Deciding on the pet
Now that you have decided to own a pet, it is important for you to know which kind you want to adopt. First, you must know that a bigger pet requires a bigger house. If your house is small and if you think dogs may eventually find it difficult to walk around, buy goldfish or guinea pigs. Fishes stay in tanks, thus requiring a small space. Also, take into consideration your children’s age. Children need to get along with pets at home; therefore it is important for you to think about your children’s age before you allow the two to bond with each other.
Train your pet to maintain routines
Prepare pet schedule that will help you train your pet on a daily basis. Allow your children to help you in the process. Make them do small work like changing water or feeding your pet. In this way, your children can lay a foundation to new friendship with their pet. Take your children along with you while visiting the vet for routine check-ups.
Don’t be rude
If your children forget to feed the pet or walk him in the evening, don’t shout or punish them. Allow your children to make mistakes. Explain the consequences to them. They understand facts faster when explained patiently rather than with a rough tone. This way, help them understand and learn things. By handling the situation calmly, you are reassuring the bond between your children and your pet. Encourage them to apologise to your pet for forgetting to feed it. Making conversations with your pets helps in bonding better.
Teach team work to your kids
Divide the work among your children and give them individual work to bond with the pet. Ask one kid to feed the pet time-to-time while the other does potty training. Exchange the schedules on a weekly basis and make sure they actively participate in the bonding process.
Timely check on your kid’s behaviour towards the pet
While some children jump in joy to welcome the newcomer, others may not like the sudden attention that your new pet receives. Some children show their anger by throwing things at the pet. During situations like this, sit and explain the benefits of having a pet at home. Ensure that the pet can be a best friend to your child provided he is treated well. Also, monitor your child time-to-time to ensure that he treats your pet well.
Don’t forget to click pictures of your children bonding with the pet. Children and pets are the cutest combination ever and capturing those moments will be the best way of freezing it.
Most people think that having a dog means spending a lot of time at home. However, your dog needs exercise too, just like you. Your dog needs to experience fresh air and would feel claustrophobic all day in the house, just like you would. So, here are a few things you can do with your dog outdoors.
Walks are a great way to bond with your dog. Take him for a long walk and enjoy fresh air while you get to meet people as well. This way you’re giving your dog the exercise he needs while you get the mini workout too! Best of both worlds! Make sure you carry a spare bag, however, since outside is not a pooping place for your dog!
Go to the park
A park with grass is a great place to play with your dog. Just like your children, if you have any, would like to go to the park and roll on the grass, so would your pooch.
Get your pooch in the pool if it is allowed, or take him to a river or lake for a swim on a hot summer day. The water helps cool the heated skin and offers an alternative form of exercise when it is too hot outside.
Hiking
Your dog loves the outdoors and hiking would be a good exercise for him, especially when it means bonding time as well with you!
Take your dog to the backyard or the building playground and play catch with your dog. Use a ball, a frisbee or a baton to make him improve his reflexes as he fetches.
Vacations
Instead of keeping your dog home or at a dog crèche, take your dog along with you on your vacation. He will love it if you care that much!
If you have decided to parent a dog, make sure you love it and care for it like you would as a proper parent! Do not neglect it because it is an animal!
“Stop it! Stop barking you little pest!” How would you like to be treated that way? Well, dogs have emotions too. Not as much as we humans do, but if we call them man’s best friend, then we ought to treat them that way. Here are a few things that we say and do to our dogs that can crush their spirit.
Hitting
Hitting a dog will make him fear you
Dominance and animal submission is a very outdated belief and training method. Hitting a dog does nothing but teach him that you are to be feared. Love is lost between you and the dog and he will not be the friend to you that you want him to be.
Take your dog’s food away while he is eating
Dogs should be left alone when eating. Many people view a dog who growls when eating as being greedy, but this is just a dog being a dog. Some dogs will bite out of fear or confusion, so let them eat in peace.
Not taking your dog for walks
Ignoring your dog in this way is going to make him feel lonely and unloved. A dog that is unloved will not love back. If you want something that lives yet requires no attention, other than to give it water and occasional sunlight, get a houseplant and not a pet.
Leaving the dog alone
Leaving your dog alone for excessively long periods of time is going to crush his spirit severely. If you are going out for a long time, seek the services of a family member, friend, neighbour, pet sitter, or dog crèche if you must leave the dog for long hours at a time. Nothing destroys a dog’s spirit like emptiness, so don’t do it.
The more you love your dog the more will he love you
If you own a dog, don’t own it! Be a friend, be a parent, but don’t be a boss. A dog is man’s best friend, not a slave!
