The Brunette Diaries

How Lust Stories Highlighted Taboo Topics!

ORGASM, there I said it! What is so taboo about it? Wait, is it that we aren’t allowed to talk about women orgasm or that it isn’t so important and hence it’s fading. What is so wrong if a woman wants to pleasure herself? Are only men allowed to be happy and their satisfaction is of utmost importance? Women-centric four short stories that makeup ‘Lust Stories‘, talk about subjects people usually avoid. What women are neglected and how they need to accept whatever that’s served on the plate.

Anurag Kashyap showed us how a woman becomes obsessive and possessive if she’s void of love or lonely. She enters into this clandestine affair with her eyes open, speaking of Amrita Pritam and Draupadi, and soon finds herself consumed by it, stalking the young man and wanting more, more, more. We are indeed watching a woman unravel, but we are also watching a woman lose control to possessiveness, reduced to behaving the way a man would.

Zoya Akhtar’s story may just be love without words. A sexual relationship between a bachelor and a maid who works for him. Until his parents arrive and find him a girl to marry. It is a minimal, beautiful film with Akhtar gradually and lovingly fetishising the very act of cleaning a house even as the maid begins to grow wistful. She enjoys screwing the master but it cannot lead anywhere. She knows she has no right to expect more, something she is reminded when she sees a fellow maid thrilled with discarded finery, and yet her hands tremble. For she can only dream but can never achieve it!

Banerjee showed us where actually a woman stands in most marriages, with her husband and her children. How she can be made so guilty for finding happiness in her life. For a woman to ask for a divorce is a sin. And how complicated things become, it is not okay to cheat on your spouse, but what if you are dead being with that person? You can’t leave your partner either, so what choice is she left with?

Karan Johar left us all with laughs but created a huge AF impact on many mindsets as well! To not be guilty to love yourself, and be proud of it. Being a woman, giving birth to children isn’t your only happiness. A shy young bride, having considered her entire life right upto the wedding-night as foreplay, quickly tires of the five-second intercourse her husband loves so much. Love is something that is still a taboo in our culture. Sadly, we still don’t have that many love marriages, we are not allowed to date, and our parents still decide who you are going to spend your life with.

From being possessive, not being able to dream big and make amends with your life, from having to be in a marriage that sucks the life out of you to be ashamed of loving yourself, women go through these phases and nobody wants to talk about it! Sex, marriage, divorce, affair, orgasm and lust, something that shouldn’t be taboo anymore and people need to speak up about it.

One Direction Star Liam Payne And Girlfriend Cheryl SPILT After Two Years Of Dating

The former One Direction member Liam Payne and singer/judge Cheryl took to Twitter to announce their breakup after having a relationship of two years and a baby named ‘Bear’ together.

Liam wrote to his fans, “Cheryl and I are sad to announce that we are going our separate ways. It’s been a tough decision for us to make. We still have so much love for each other as a family. Bear is our world and we ask that you respect his privacy as we navigate our way through this together.”

Meanwhile, Cheryl too tweeted about the same and quite roughly wrote the exact same statement. The two began dating all the way back in 2015, and their son Bear, 1, was born just last year on March 22, 2017. In announcing his birth, Liam wrote on Instagram, “I’m incredibly lucky to welcome our new baby boy into the world. It’s a moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life and my favorite memory I have so far.”

Check out their tweets here:

Cheryl’s relationship with Payne began after her divorce from French restaurateur Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini. She was previously married to the former England footballer Ashley Cole. Payne, originally from Wolverhampton, has gone on to forge a successful solo career after One Direction decided to take a break in 2015, with his song ‘Strip That Down’ being streamed globally more than a billion times. In March, Payne admitted he and Cheryl had relationship “struggles“, amid tabloid press reports about their life together.

Here are some adorable pictures of the former couple that’ll make you even more so sad about their breakup!

Signs Your Partner Is Negging You And How Toxic It Is In A Relationship!

First off, Negging isn’t cool and no one should put up with a person’s negging. It is done purely to put a person down so much against their will to get what they want out of you. It can also be said as a form of manipulation and that is very toxic in any relationship!

What exactly is negging?

Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator’s approval.

Why Negging is an Actual Form of Abuse in Relationships?

Abuse comes in many shapes and forms, sometimes it’s not easy to spot, and sometimes it might not even come across as abuse, but all abuse, no matter the form, takes an emotional toll. One form of verbal abuse is known as negging. It occurs when an individual makes a backhanded compliment or insult that is designed to undermine that person’s confidence while simultaneously giving the insulter attention as they strive for their approval. In other words, one partner is constantly putting down the other one to get attention.

So now we know what negging is and many of us, who are in a relationship might’ve remembered many things their partners have said, which may be negging, if not so sure yet, read these few signs which will tell you whether you are in a toxic relationship or not!

1) They’re Narcissist

People who are never wrong while they put everyone down and talk themselves UP, are infact, NARCISSIST. A narcissist might seem ‘open‘ with you but in reality, they just love to talk about themselves, and aren’t actually interested in what’s going on in your life. If there is… a lack of vulnerability or sharing of true feelings or interests, not only can this start to paint the picture of what may be a narcissist, but you (might be) being negged.

2) Their compliments are always backhanded

“Wow, you’re actually pretty smart!” or “You can be so beautiful when you have makeup on!” By pointing out a negative, the (one being negged) focuses on the flaw and starts trying to fix it and gain their partner’s approval. If your partner seems to exclusively give you backhanded compliments that leave you feeling hurt and puzzled instead of bolstered and happy, that could mean they’re negging you.

3) They compare you to their exes

Occasionally mentioning an ex when it’s relevant is totally normal in a relationship. But if you’re being constantly compared to an ex by your partner, it’s probably because they’re trying to make you feel insecure and second-best as a way to make you want to ‘prove yourself‘ by sticking around. Not only they are feeding negative thoughts about your ownself into your mind but also manipulating you to be in a way your partner wants you to be.

4) They’re always so busy

“Sorry babe I’m busy doing work”, “Hey I can’t meet I’m too busy” Obviously, sometimes people are just genuinely too busy to hang out. But if you’re seeing someone who is always too busy for you and makes no real effort to meet up or plan dates, that’s a red flag. Claiming to be busy all the time is a desperate attempt to show their pseudo-importance.

5) You’re the butt of the joke

Having to be able to joke around your partner and sharing laughs is great for a healthy relationship but constantly being the topic to be joked about, whether your insecurities or your habits and appearance can put your self-confidence down under the bus. If your partner often uses you as the butt of the joke that could be their way of trying to subtly put you down while passing it off as ‘humor’.

What to do if you are being negged?

If you have come to notice about your partner’s backhand compliments or jokes, or how busy their schedule is, the best you can do is to have a one-on-one conversation with them about this. You need to address the elephant in the room or it’ll damage you mentally.

Your partner’s reaction will say it all: if they’re shocked, upset, and willing to work on their behavior, then it might be worthwhile to give them a chance. But if your partner dismisses your feelings and refuses to take any blame, that’s your cue to GTFO of the relationship before their controlling, manipulative behavior escalates.

We hope this article helped you, share it with your friends, you never what really goes on inside any happy looking relationship, right?

Here Are Some Cool Ideas For BFF Gifts For Friendship’s Day

“I’ll be there for you….”

I need not tell you the importance of a friend in life. The one who is a combination of your soul mate, your adventure partner, you secret keeper, perhaps more important than a sibling, basically your twin best pal who will ALWAYS be there for you no matter what! As friendship’s day approaches; we, the team of TBD have come up with some pretty exciting ideas for you to make your BFF feel the most special and loved person in this big big world.

1) Plan a girlfriend getaway

It can be a trip to another state or country, a trip to the spa if travelling isn’t an option. Get yourself soaked in beauty masks with cucumbers, just kidding, but getting a spa can be a real deal. Or make DIY face packs and apply while sipping on some fine wine.

2) Make a mix tape

Just like Janice did for chandler, make a mixtape consisting of all your favorite jams you grew up listening to. It surely will make your BFF feel so special and remind them of all the beautiful memories you spend listening to those tunes.

3) Get your ‘Zen’ on

Unwind together in a yoga class or mediation place. Find an outdoor class at the beach or a park so you can both get even closer to nirvana. It surely will relax you both, something we all need in this hectic life!

Have you heard about this eating contest to be held on Friendship Day? To know more click here

4) Binge watching

Make a list of all your favorite movies or the ones you guys planned to watch but couldn’t. Make some popcorn and get that soda and binge watch all the movies sitting at home all cuddled up, like y’all always do!

5) Go karaoke

Be rock stars for the night and perform a dazzling encore-worthy duet at your local karaoke bar. Just imagine the stories you both will have to tell your kids in future, of how cool their mums are.

6) Give her a sweet surprise

Show, and tell her, how amazing you think she is with a box of cupcakes in all her favorite flavors, like red velvet and dutch chocolate. The best part, the heartfelt secret messages hidden beneath each cupcake. It’s the perfect way to share bite of cake with her from afar.

7) Volunteer

It would be really amazing if you guys volunteer for any social event for the day. It will strengthen your bond, also you guys get to do something new. It’s always is a great feeling to do something for others, a selfless deed. 

8) Go hiking

If you and your BFF are outdoorsy types, head out for a hike. Spending a full day in nature is reinvigorating, beautiful, and fun. Or if you’re not so into the strenuous hike, find a low-impact nature walk near you and check it out.

9) Love letter

If you don’t live close enough to meet, mail her a handwritten note reminiscent of the ones you used to pass each other in class. She’ll love getting something in the mail that isn’t a bill or a grocery store coupon.

10) Watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

The ultimate thing to do is a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. marathon. That’s it!

Do you often feel stressed? Overwhelmed? Down?

Sometimes when you wake up in the morning with a feeling of sadness and that’s it, it carries on for hours or days when you don’t even know why you feel the way you do. You just have no idea why as to the sudden feeling of being stressed, you’re overwhelmed with emotions or are simply low on energy and absolutely no will to do anything currently. Well, I don’t know the cause of it but I surely know what can make you feel better. Read on…

1) Put on clean sheets on your bed

Just trust me, the feeling of new sheets on your bed can make the sadness or cluster of emotions flush down the toilet. No one likes laundry, but neither can deny the fact how comfortable, happy and relaxed clean sheets can make you feel. The freshness of a new or washed sheets gives a fresher sense of vibe to you. Don’t believe me, just try it!

2) Do some kind of sweaty workout

Any workout works as long as you perspire a lot. Yoga, running, sex, dancing or even running around your apartment, anything! Maybe take a long walk down the road and get sweaty. Doing something energetic makes you feel alive within, the laziness goes away, you just gotta get that ass off the couch and get going.

3) Dry brush your skin

Just like brushing the fur on your pet, dry brushing is great. I can’t say that it definitely reduces cellulite as many claims, but it does remove ashiness, which works too. Don’t forget to take a soft brush, or else you might end up hurting your skin with a tough brush.

4) Take a shower

A long bubble is all you need at times. You can cry your eyes out, or listen to soft music and enjoy all the tension to wash off along with water. You do whatever you feel like during your bath, go ahead and shave while you’re at it, but remember to leave your worries once you leave the bathroom.

5) Wear new clothes

The same principle as clean sheets, wearing new clothes to work or even when you go down to buy groceries can make you feel new within. Getting dressed up makes you feel confident, it does take the stress away, believe me, I dress up every Monday just to keep the Monday blues away.

Go try it, I’m sure you’ll come back to leave a “thank you” comment below <3

From Met Gala To A Bridal Shower: Priyanka And Nick’s Timeline

Priyanka Chopra had her bridal shower yesterday at Tiffany’s Blue Box Café and she looked absolutely stunning. I guess the next time we see her in a white gown, she’ll be walking down the aisle to get married to Nick Jonas!

While their wedding is still months away, Priyanka looked nothing short of angelic in this gorgeous white gown at her bridal shower at Tiffany’s Blue Box Cafe in New York City on Oct. 28. The strapless, feathery outfit with a cinched waist was luxuriously accessorized with a diamond necklace that seemed to be straight out of Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Now, let’s have a proper recap of their love story and the full timeline of the adorable couple’s relationship as we head towards their wedding date with anticipation.

May, 2017: Met Gala

Jonas and Chopra made their first public appearance together at the 2017 Met Gala — before they were officially a couple. In an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Chopra said that she and Jonas were both wearing Ralph Lauren to the Met Gala, so they decided to attend the event together. She described the night as “fun,” but didn’t reveal much of anything else.

May, 2018: Memorial Day Weekend

Most people learned of Jonas and Chopra’s (alleged) relationship almost a full year after their first public appearance together. The couple was spotted attending a Dodgers game together in LA over Memorial Day weekend, and also cozied up to one another under a blanket on a boat, which is generally understood to be standard couple behavior.

June, 2018: Cousin’s Wedding

On June 9, Jonas and Chopra were spotted together in Atlantic City, New Jersey, for Jonas’ cousin’s wedding. This indicates that Chopra met at least two out of the three other Jonas brothers (Kevin and the “Bonus Jonas,” Franklin), both of whom also seemed to be at the wedding.

July, 2018: Engagement

In late July, People reported that Chopra and Jonas were engaged. A source told the publication that Jonas rented out Tiffany’s store in New York City to select the engagement ring. “[Jonas’] friends and family have never seen him like this, and they’re all really excited for him. He’s definitely very serious about her,” a source told People.

August, 2018: Parents

Jonas and his parents, Denise and Kevin Jonas Sr., flew to India to meet Chopra’s family. “It’s a tradition to go and meet the family before the wedding,” the source exclusively told Us of their visit. “Priyanka wants an Indian wedding. He’s super supportive of her and he’s thrilled.”

August, 2018: Confirmation on their Engagement

After keeping fans on their toes for months, Chopra and Jonas confirmed their engagement in separate, but similar Instagram posts. “Taken.. With all my heart and soul,” Chopra wrote as a caption. Jonas shared the same photo, with the caption “Future Mrs. Jonas. My heart. My love.” Later on, he also shared a series of photos documenting their engagement celebration in India.

September, 2018: Red Carpet

The couple walked the red carpet together for the first time since getting engaged. Chopra and Jonas attended the Ralph Lauren fashion show during New York Fashion Week — and looked very loved-up on the red carpet.

According to Us Weekly, the couple will be tying the knot in India this December. “They really want to blend wedding traditions from both of their cultures, that are important to them,” a source said. “Priyanka is having a really good time planning the wedding because it’s a mix of Indian and American styles and customs, which she knows so much about. Nick and Priyanka can’t wait to get married. They have amazing chemistry and can’t wait to have kids. They are going to wait till after the wedding to start trying. But it’s definitely on the agenda.“

Who else can’t wait to see all the beautiful pictures of their wedding?!

The 6 Lessons I Wish I Knew My Younger Self Needed!

6 lessons a younger self needs? 6 things we aspire to know? It’s no secret that with age comes so much of wisdom. Sometimes it could even be the wisdom we never thought we needed, until it becomes relevant! Being younger, we are faced with so many challenges and we often wish we handled it differently. Everything happens according to a certain life plan. You may think you needed to know something before actually letting it happen, but knowing and doing are two very separate things!

We all wish we knew certain things when we were teenagers or in our early 20s that we know now! Well we cannot turn back the clock, but we can surely help others learn from our wisdom. Here are 6 things I wish my younger self knew!

1. You are More Than Enough!

You are more than enough. Worthy of only the very best! In life, you are going to meet people who might not see your worth and that is okay. It is not your fault. That is their loss. You are not for everyone so don’t beat yourself up about what others say. Do not allow anyone to treat you as less than what you deserve. We are all worthy of amazing things, yet we are not aware of it. It takes a certain amount of love and knowledge to know your worth. Trust me, whoever does not see your worth is not a loss. You are ENOUGH for the right people that enter your life.

2. Not all Relationships or Friendships are worth keeping

In life, you are going to meet so many people. Breaking ties are inevitable. Life changes. People change. Don’t hold onto memories and shared wisdom over years of friendship or relationships. Sometimes breaking away from people is good. We need the break. We need a new sense of environment and human surroundings. Being with the same people that are stagnant in their own life can cause you to be stagnant in yours!

3. “It’s okay to not be okay”

There are so many people who hide their fears, feelings and even mental health issues. People fear seeming weird or a “debby downer” by sharing their stories. It is okay to share how you feel. It is okay to not always be okay. You cannot always live happily, life has its ups and downs. If you’re not having ups and downs, are you even alive? Those moments make us stronger and being vulnerable is not a weakness. It is a step towards growth and strength.

4. Nobody else’s opinion matters except your own!

“What will she say?”, “Everyone is going to talk about it”. Sounds familiar right? But who cares??? Will those same people be by your side in 10 years time? Are they worth listening too? What if Oprah believed people who told her she wasn’t good enough for television? Exactly! Opinions mean absolutely nothing, how you respond to them means everything. People will talk about you until the day you die.

5. Do not ever stop dreaming

Dreaming brings about a world of passion and self-interest! Dare to dream? I think so! Dreaming allows you to tap into your creative side. People are often so scared to dream because they are told that they would never reach that goal. Don’t allow that to be you. When we are kids, we dream an entire world of opportunities, but as we get older dreams tend to get shorter and less innovative. Dreams become scenarios and people. Dreams become blank and sometimes there aren’t any at all. Why? Because we tell ourselves that dreams mean nothing when in fact dreams mean everything!

6. Report Cards / Marks do not determine your worth

We live in a world where you are not able to live a comfortable life without qualifications. A world where having a higher percentage is valued more than having the skill and relentless ambition! People are obsessed with numbers than influence. Impacting is nothing without the statistics behind it. The world works towards numbers. Statistics. Calculations. Your worth is more than a percentage on a test, exam or end of year report. Those who have made the biggest impact in the world, have failed towards the necessary numbers needed in education.

Books Which Will Help You Overcome ‘Breakup Phase’

Breaking up can be worse for those who invested emotionally in a relationship. Whatever may be the reason, lack of trust, time issues, long distance, toxicity, unpreparedness etc. One can never be happy after breakup exception being: you were cheating on your significant other. But if you know mentally that its ‘finally over’ & it’s time to move on with your life, then its time you should really do! I know it is tad bit hard, but not impossible. Drinking & acting like a heartbroken soul won’t help nor will self-harm.

So what to do? This is the time when your soul needs you more than anyone else! Self-love is crucial. Then why not read about it? Here at The Brunette Diaries, we have a made a list of best books which will make you feel good about being with yourself again!

1. The Pisces – Melissa Broder
It is a fantastic breakup book, The Pisces is a must-read for anyone going through love addiction withdrawal. The book starts with a breakup, and while there is an erotic romantic plot with her merman rebound (just go with it), this book is definitely anything but saccharine. It’s the perfect escape for those who like to question the need to escape itself.

2. Communion : The Female Search For Love – Bell Hooks
Post-breakup, you might realize the degree to which you were holding on to the relationship because of a story you were telling yourself. If you’re ready to examine that story and the role of narratives around romantic love in your choices, bell hooks’ book (from her all-around masterful “Love Trilogy”) is for you.

My favourite quote is :

“As females in a patriarchal culture, we were not slaves of love; most of us were and are slaves of longing — yearning for a master who will set us free and claim us because we cannot claim ourselves.”

3. Milk & Honey – Rupi Kaur
Anything said about this book of poems will fall short. Let this quote say about the book itself.

“How cruel I was to myself. Giving you credit for my warmth simply because you had felt it. Thinking it was you who gave me strength. Wit. Beauty. Simply because you recognized it. As if I was already not these things before I met you. As if I did not remain all these things after you left.” The book cannot be missed!

4. Self Help – Lorrie Moore
Moore’s nine stories — touching on infidelity, trust, passion, and mortality — range from vaguely optimistic to downright depressing while maintaining the thoughtful, personal, and often funny tone that makes you feel like you’re just commiserating with a friend who’s had it worse than you.

5. Him, Her, Him Again, The End Of Him – Patricia Marx
This book which is a satirical story about a girl who has spent 10 years trying to attract a pretentious PhD student just to understand how wrong she was and how much time she wasted as a result. The story is based on the author’s own experience, and shows that your breakup might be a blessing rather than a curse.

See, getting to terms with breakup will take time, but make sure that time makes you stronger, & you make a shield over your heart so that no other person can break it thaaattttt easily! Next time, don’t fall so quickly. Because, whenever something falls, it breaks!

5 Common Lies A Guy Uses If He Is Cheating

Relationship are always beautiful. When people fall in love, the relationship always starts good but the same cannot be said about the final days. Today, very few relations last longer than a year. In the 21st century, it is easy to hate but not that easy to fall in love with someone. People are becoming liberal about relationships. It’s becoming hard to find true love in today’s fast-paced and selfish world.

There are many cases where guys have been caught cheating on their girlfriend while in a relationship. There are many bare excuses that you get to hear if your partner is cheating on you. He may try to defend himself and make you feel guilty for doubting him. But, you don’t have to feel so because you have all the right to give him a kick on his ass.

Here are 5 common lies mostly used by a guy if he is cheating on a girl:

The Interest Game:
In this world full of liking, where one has a crush on others you might face that your guy is getting attracted to another girl. After all we are all humans and can’t deny emotions. On being caught off guard, your boyfriend may shield himself saying, “She is the one who first texted me, she made the first move. She really likes me and is interested in me. I don’t want to hurt her. So, I am just being polite and trying to be a good friend of hers.” In such a situation you have to be alert as it is a sign of being wronged. He might not actually be friend-zoning and there could be a lot of brewing happening between them behind your back.

Busy Load:
If you feel that there is distance in your relationship and your guy is catching up with his other female friends, then something is definitely wrong. And, if he makes an excuse for being questioned about the same saying ‘I just wanted to spend some good time and you were busy – all my friends were too busy in working and she was the only one who was willing, then be very careful. This is a sure indication that he is interested in her. Sometimes it is possible but not every time that you are busy somewhere and she is the only person available for him to hang out with.

Be Open-Minded:
Most men blame women for overthinking and being conservative. This is one of the most common excuses men usually use to shift the blame on their girlfriends. Whenever you put a question about his whereabouts, he avoids answering you and start blaming you that you are being over-possessive and this is blowing out of proportion. He may try to convince you that she is just a friend and nothing more than that. He may ask you to “Stop being so conservative, please!” Please be open-minded but that does not mean letting your partner stray around and let them go with anyone.

Secret Dates:
There might be someone who you will meet for the first time and meeting someone will not matter until your intention is clear. The intentions you have and how honest you are with your partner matters a lot. The next time your boyfriend (whom you suspect is cheating on you) gives you this coffee excuse, or he is meeting with his female colleague late night, or hanging around – you know what to answer. It is not only about hanging out with someone from the opposite sex – it’s about your intentions.

Eye On Social Media:
Social media is good – now a day’s people fall in love with a simple swipe. It’s not always about being a social media influencer for your guy but some time you have to keep an eye on his activity. Your partner might has the nerve to chat (or rather flirt) with the other girl all the time, meet her every second day for no reason and most importantly, lie to you – then he is cheating on you. So, when he tells you that he is not sleeping with her, tell him that infidelity is not merely limited to a physical relationship with a third person but it is more than that.

There are many more tips that we would like to share with you to be in a healthy, safe and beautiful relationship.

Month: September 2023